My parents had left the airport already and now I just had one more good-bye to give. It was four in the morning and my fiance and I were standing there staring at each other. Both of us unsure about what the next year would hold and neither one of us wanting to say "good-bye" first. That day I wrote in my journal that leaving her and everything I knew was the hardest thing I have ever had to do. Now, looking back on the past two months, I have never been more certain of my purpose here in Guatemala. My time here as been so challenging and frustrating and heartbreaking it's hard to describe. But now I rest in the hope I have in the future. That is something I'm learning while being here. God is in control and my hope is in the unseen future and I carry the conviction of God's providence through it all.
My home church pastor defined the Church where God is readily visible and amplified to the world. The Gathering Sunday night service is the embodiment of that definition. On the fringe of yet another week I am just so excited to see what God has for us tonight when we go to meet and just to glorify His name. Last week I had the chance to help lead music and it was just a Spirit-filled time. I feel so blessed to have the fellowship of believers here in this place. At the church we have been doing a study of how to manage God's money and it has been very eye-opening and challenging. It's an interesting perspective to view God's money while being completely dependent on support. My first thought was "Why do we need to hear this? We're missionaries! I doubt that money is our big downfall." But as this series goes on I've come to realize that money is exactly our biggest distraction from God. But God is good, giving us just the Words that we can handle and providing the faith to hear it, especially when I am faithless.
Week two of teaching completed. Thank goodness! This weekend I had the chance to go to a natural hot springs about thirty minutes away. It was a great, relaxing time that was definitely needed. Although being there and having my muscles messaged by the extremely hot water, a few things struck me. The first is the stark contrast between the "haves" and the "have-nots". The funny thing is, unlike in the States, here there really isn't any effort to try to separate the two. They live side by side. The Springs are a perfect example. Here we are, sitting in an oasis of bliss with the sun on our faces, soaking up all the relaxation possible yet it only takes looking over the wall to see the tin-shacks with no electricity or water.There's something very wrong with that to me and I hope I don't get used to it.
The second thing I noticed is how good it felt to drive somewhere. Guatemala is very restricting. The US Embassy ranks cities on a danger scale from one to ten and Guatemala is a ten. There are not many places it is safe to go and coming from the states with the freedom of travel we have, being here is very confining. It felt great to break in my car with a little road trip, even if it did burn up my breaks something awful!
I struggled to hand over the most enormous check I've written since I've been down here. Once it's gone, it's gone and there's nothing I can do about it but I had to take a leap of faith. I bought a car. Yes, I bought a red, four-door, 1998 Ford Escort (trying to help the Big Three out...) Now let me tell you, this was no easy thing. In the States you buy a car there is a mountain of paperwork, you're able to talk with the mechanic, talk with your mechanic to find out what's really wrong with it, etc. Not so in developing countries. Forget about long, drawn out paperwork. Speaking with a mechanic? Not likely unless you happen to know slang-Spanish (and he tells you the truth). What are you left with? Prayer. And that's what I've been doing since I've been down here and God has just answered enormously. Thank you all who have given to this cause/prayed for this to come to pass. It has truly been a huge answer to prayer!
